Racism & Stereotyping

Food for thought:

We like to think of ourselves as very religious and modest people. But our definition of modesty is limited to some very superficial factors which include the way we dress up, whether we have any inappropriate relationships with the opposite gender or not and if you are a woman then being passive in the face of oppression and abuse or not expressing your opinion if it differs from that of others also make you a modest person. We adopt this persona of so called modesty but the irony is that when it comes to matters like racism and judging others then we are as far away from the teachings of our religion as possible. We are as immodest as one can be. We love to be judgemenal. We feel entitled to be judgemental. Without giving it an ounce of thought we like to label people and make assumptions about them. Same is the case when it comes to issues like racism and stereotyping. You are ugly because you are dark. You are unattractive because you are fat. No one is going to marry you because you are not pretty enough. Your character must be shady because you are divorced. Her character must be shady because look at the way she is dressed. You are going to hell because you are a follower of that sect. I cannot hire you for this job not because you are not qualified enough but because you didn't come to me by the reference of a friend of mine. We can't marry our child into that family because our caste or nationality is different from theirs. He must be stupid because he is a pathan. He must be a sweeper because he is a non-muslim. I cannot share a meal with this person because he or she is a follower of a different religion. She must be a bad mother because she has a career. We say and do all these things without even thinking how much we are hurting, offending and demotivating others by doing so. When it comes to these matters we definitely need to unlearn what we have learned so far and relearn what our religion actually teaches us. We need to learn that simply being kind to others without judging them can do miracles for them and for us as well.

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Lessons from Surah Kahf

Surah Kahf tells us two contrasting stories. On one hand we have the people of the cave who had absolutely no resource at their disposal and a king who was looking for them to kill them and make an example out of them. They hid in a cave and sought Allah's help. Allah bent the laws of nature for them and saved them in a miraculous way. On the other hand we have the story of two gardeners one of whom has all the resources one can think of in which he takes pride and believes that none of his assets will ever perish. Allah subsequently takes each and every thing away from him and he is left bankrupt. So in contrast, even if you have no material resource at your disposal but you have Allah and his help then nothing can destroy you but if you have everything else at your disposal but Allah and his help are not with you then you are going to be left bankrupt at the end. In a nutshell, your reliance should be on Allah alone and not on any of the material resources.

Another pair of contrasting stories in Surah Kahf are the story of Musa (A.S) and Khidr (A.S) and the story of  Zulqarnain. Musa (A.S) goes on a journey with Khidr (A.S) on Allah's order. On the journey Musa (A.S) witnesses plenty of unjust situations and he has no power to do anything about the injustice being done. At the end he learns that all of those things that apparently seemed unfair served a greater purpose and whatever happened happened for the best. He just did not have enough knowledge to be able to see the bigger picture. On the other hand, Zulqarnain is the king and he travels the world and since he has enough power gifted to him by Allah he fixes all the unjust situations that he encounters by the command and will of Allah. These contrasting stories teach us the lesson that in life we will come across situations that we wont like or certain things will happen that we don't want to happen or vice versa. Sometimes we will have the power and capacity to fix those things but some times we won't have the power or capacity to fix those things. If we are capable of fixing things we should do so in the best possible way but if we are not capable of that then we should trust Allah's plan and keep moving. In a nutshell, we should play our part in the best way possible but no matter what happens in our lives or around us it is all part of Allah's plan and everything is going to work out for the best eventually.

How can this Surah save us from the fitnah of Dajjal?

When Dajjal will come he will mesmerize the mankind by means of producing materialistically great stuff. As a result of which people will worship him. But if trust and reliance in Allah is deeply rooted in your heart and mind, if you believe in the unseen as taught in these two pairs of contrasting stories then you can protect yourself from that fitnah.

Reference: https://youtu.be/xePnDoe3y-s

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Anxiety

The feeling of constant uneasiness. Absence of peace. Absence of contentment. An unsettling feeling inside. Constant desire to do something or go somewhere but not knowing what to do or where to go. Lack of interest in everything. Difficulty in falling asleep. Waking up from sleep with a feeling of panic. Inability to focus. Inability to stop the train of thoughts. Rather trains of thoughts. Throbbing of the heart at unusually high rate and heavy breathing. This is how anxiety feels to me.

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Do Not Judge

There is a sect of Islam that has certain beliefs that I don’t agree with. As a matter of fact, there are many such sects. And not only Islam. There are other religions that have certain beliefs that I don’t agree with. But there is this particular sect in Islam whose ways I find rather amusing or one can say worth mocking. But recently I have been thinking about one thing. There is a saying by Rumi:

So there actually ARE multiple paths to reach God, to find Him. Each path IS actually different from the rest. Just because I am on a different path than someone else I am in no position to assume that I am right and the other person is wrong or vice versa. May be I am wrong and he is right. May be he is wrong and I am right. May be we are both right. May be we are both wrong.

There are certain things, certain beliefs, certain ways that ARE right and some that ARE wrong. But it is not our job to judge people and label them as deviant or righteous. Not at all. We are in no position for that. Only one who is in such a position is God Himself. It is up to him to decide who is righteous and who is deviant. Who is going to hell and who is going to heaven? Because He knows what lies within peoples' hearts while we don't. Our job is to acquire knowledge and educate ourselves so that we can learn and decide by ourselves what is right for us to do or believe and what is not. Because how else will we be able to develop our beliefs and values. But the first thing that we must learn before learning to distinguish between right and wrong is that whatever knowledge I acquire it SHOULD NOT make me judgmental towards others.

The thing is that knowledge is never constant. It evolves. It evolves and the process of evolution is never ending. As your knowledge evolves, your understanding of what’s right and what’s wrong changes. What today you think is wrong, tomorrow you will probably think that the same thing is right and vice versa. So never mock anyone for their beliefs or the ways that they follow because tomorrow it is possible for you to find yourself sharing their beliefs and ways.

Lets say you disagree with someone on a certain matter. Lets say they ARE actually wrong and you ARE actually right about that matter. And you mock them or judge them or assume that because of their ignorance regarding this particular matter they are going to be doomed. They are lost. And so you look down upon them. What if there are certain acts of theirs due to which they are dearer to God than you are. May be they give away more charity than you do. May be you give 10% of your income and they give 50% of theirs. May be they volunteer to help the needy despite their tough routine when you prefer to stay in bed and chill. May be they are much more compassionate than you are. May be they don’t judge people and think or speak ill of them like you do. May be they love God more than you do. May be they are more devout to God in their hearts than you can ever be. May be their hearts contain more compassion than yours ever can. May be they don't dress up as 'religiously' as you do but they are more honest in their personal and professional dealings or matters than you are. May be they never lie. May be they never cheat. You don’t know everything about them. You don’t know what’s in their hearts. You are NO ONE to judge them or make the assumption that they are doomed or deviant or lost. NO. Not at all. You can disagree with them but you can’t judge them and so you shouldn’t.

Last but not the least. This does not apply to religion only but also to every other aspect of your life.

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Abuse in Marriage

Lately, I have been coming across lots of stories of women being in abusive relationships. In most of the cases, the abuse is inflicted by the husband & in some cases by in-laws as well & that is not even the saddest part. The saddest part is that most of these women are planning to put up with the abuse or continue to live in such relationships despite the abuse. Some of these sisters are doing so because they think or have been advised by their own families, sometimes even by their own parents that they should practice “patience”. The concept of patience here is so insanely incorrect that I can’t even figure out from where to start. Patience does not in any way mean that you should suffer in silence & let someone abuse you & walk all over you. If you are doing so, you are not practicing patience. The only thing that you are doing here is that you are encouraging your abuser. You are telling them that they can treat you in absolutely any way they would like & you are still going to put up with them. I have added two links at the end of this post. The concept of patience has been communicated beautifully in these short lectures. Kindly listen to these lectures, unlearn the concept of patience that is currently in your mind & relearn it.

Now I know that I am in no position to pass any judgments on anyone. I cannot put myself in your shoes. I have no idea what challenges you are facing or are afraid of facing if you take a stand & decide to end such a relationship. But I am telling you this because this is exactly what I would tell my own sister if I find her in a similar situation God forbid. You should have zero tolerance for abuse. And when I talk about abuse, I am not talking only about physical abuse. Abuse is also emotional & it is also psychological. Abuse also means being tortured mentally by someone’s words or behavior or small gestures. You should have zero tolerance for all kinds of abuse. Learn to respect yourself. You shouldn’t allow absolutely anyone to mistreat you let alone abuse you or put their hands on you. I would also like to address those parents, those brothers & sisters & those relatives who when learn about the abuse that is inflicted upon their daughters, their sisters they advise them to put up with it & to practice so called “patience” & tell them that the beasts that they are living with will probably turn into a human one day. You guys are supposed to be the guardians of these poor souls, you are supposed to be their support system, their strength. How can you possibly force them into such misery? How can you let them suffocate inside like this? How can you so casually let someone mistreat your daughters & your sisters?

I would also like to address those who are living in such relationships due to their children. I do not have any children of my own but as someone’s child let me tell you that there is nothing that is as disturbing as one’s parents fighting with one another. When children grow up in a home where abuse takes place you cannot expect your children not to get affected by it. It will definitely affect them psychologically & emotionally & it will also eventually affect their behavior & their personalities. So when it comes to your child’s mental health & personality development, you are not at all helping your child here by staying in an abusive relationship. Plus, children learn from their parents. So in such a case, from one parent a child can learn to be passive in the face of abuse & let others mistreat them & from other parent a child can learn to be abusive. Please bear in mind here, you are raising somebody’s husband, somebody’s wife, somebody’s father & somebody’s mother. In addition to that, some children start questioning the whole idea of marriage when they grow up because the kind of marriage that they had witnessed between their parents while growing up was infact questionable. Not to mention, when you stay in an abusive relationship for the sake of your child, your child can start blaming himself/herself for your misery. He/she can think that I am the reason why my parents have to live so miserably. If you don’t want to deprive your children of their father then you can always share their custody with their father.

In the end, I would address those sisters who are well educated & can support themselves & their families but are staying in such relationships just because of the pressure of society. Please liberate yourself. The society doesn’t have to put up with the abuse but it is “you” who has to put up with it. “You” are the one who has to suffer. Cut yourself off from people who don’t bring anything in your life apart from negativity. You shouldn’t care about them. They are not worth it. You should take care of yourself first & foremost. You deserve better.

I would conclude this post by making dua for all of those sisters who are suffering from abuse that may Allah ease their pain, make way out for them, guide them & bless them with contentment & happiness. Ameen.

https://youtu.be/1dAbiisj-kI

https://youtu.be/6mzFJikLyG8

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One Step at a Time

When you see a sea of obstacles in front of you. There lies obstacle after obstacle after obstacle as far as your sight has access to and you feel completely overwhelmed by them. You feel as if you are never going to be able to cross them all. Even the thought of crossing these obstacles exhausts you and brings you down. You cannot find enough strength or energy to pull yourself up and start working on crossing them. You feel that you are stuck here forever and you are never going to be able to find a way out. You feel as if you are never going to be able to reach your destination. You feel despair and at the same time you feel anxious. You are worried about what is going to happen if you are unable to reach your destination and at the same time you have no hope of reaching your destination...….. When you feel this way take a step back and a deep breath. All you need at such a moment is hope and strength. Hope that even though you are currently unable to see your destination you are finally going to reach there. All you have to do in order to reach there is cross the obstacles that lie in your way. One by one. One after the other. In order to cross these obstacles what you are going to need is strength so that you can make enough efforts to overcome them. Both hope and strength come by only one means, that is, faith. Faith is believing in something that you cannot see. So even though you cannot see your destination right now you can still have the surety that you are going to reach there if you have faith. But faith in what? Faith in a power. A power that is supreme. A power that controls everything. Everything that happens to you, everything that surrounds you, everything that lies ahead of you, everything that lies behind you and everything other than that. A power that loves you more than anyone else ever can. A power that cares for you and wishes well for you more than anyone else ever can. A power that wants to help you and take you to your destination. A power that is always with you, looking out for you, watching over you. A power that wants nothing short of what’s best for you. A power for which nothing is impossible. A power that can solve all your problems and can make all your worries disappear and wants to do so. A power that can provide you relief and wants to provide you relief. A power that wants to guide you but does not want to spoon feed you. Because it wants you to learn and wants you to become strong. When you have faith in that power ask the possessor of that power to aid you, to guide you, to have your back and to make things easy for you. You may not be able to see the way out yet but once you have faith in that power and seek help from its possessor, it will light up hope in your heart. This hope will charge you up with enough energy and strength that you will be able to make the efforts to cross each and every obstacle that lies in your way. Once you have that strength and that energy all you have to do is focus on the first obstacle that you see in your way and try to cross it. Then work on the next one then the next one then the next one and keep going. Eventually you will reach your destination. Don’t get overwhelmed by what you cannot see, what scares you. Just take one step at a time, focus on solving one problem at a time, focus on crossing one obstacle at a time and eventually you will reach your destination. You will reach your destination by taking these small steps. The energy that drives you to take these steps will come to you by having hope. And it will all start when you have faith.

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Minnu

Arrival of an Adorable Angel:

Once upon a time, a little angel arrived at a house in the form of an adorable, tiny kitten. She was absolutely gorgeous. She had the cutest flat face, gorgeous and fluffy fur which was white from the middle and grey at the tail, tips of the limbs and center of the face. Ears were grey in color, lighter shade at the center growing darker by the edges. Most perfect set of crystal blue eyes one could ever see. She was like a masterpiece of God’s artwork. She completely occupied the hearts of a woman and her two daughters who lived in that house. The woman named her minnu out of sheer love. Soon enough, she herself came to know that her name was minnu and she was supposed to respond when someone calls that name but chose to ignore it anyway although, an ear used to turn in the direction from where the voice calling her name was heard. 

Minnu’s Life:

The purpose of her life was to play.  Wide open eyes, pupils expanded to full extent, sparkles in the eyes, tail swishing at full speed and she would give you the cutest look, challenging you to catch her and would make the cutest brief sound and then run at full speed. From one corner of the house to another, with the speed like that of cheetah. You would not be able to catch her while she is in that state. If you touch her or kiss her when she doesn’t want you to (which is almost all the time except the time when she wakes up from a nap) then it would be certain that you are going to get deep scratches on your hands. If you put the dish of food out for her she would go and sit beside it and will watch you, ordering you to come and stir the bowl for her. When you would sit down beside her, stir the bowl for her and move your hands on her head. After that she would end her tantrums and finally start eating. She loved the woman, who called herself her mama, more than anyone else. Mama was her favorite person. The daughters however, were more like maids for her. Who would attend to her needs, listen and obey her orders and play with her when she wants. The daughters didn’t mind this attitude in the least and it could never affect the love and affection that they felt for her. However, if the daughters were unable to give her attention due to any reason she would get upset. In short, she would show that she didn’t need attention but she very much did! You could say that she was in fact one of the few luckiest beings in this world for having had so much love and care. She would sleep with mama on her bed. When the daughters would bring her to their room, on their bed so that she would sleep with them she would refuse in the cutest arrogant way and go sleep somewhere else. When she would be in a deep sleep in the middle of the night, she would suddenly make the cutest meow noise while asleep then when you would go give her a pat and say in a sweet voice ‘what happened minnu?’ she would stop making the noise and continue to sleep. She would get up in the morning at or before the break of dawn then the first person to wake up would be asked to open the door and let her out for the stroll. After couple of hours of stroll someone would have to go and pick her up, bring her back home. Sometimes if she would be waiting for you, she would complain to you for being late. Sometimes, when she was not in a mood for a long stroll, she would come back by herself and stand at the door asking anyone to open it. There was no food that she was fond of. Not even TUNA. Yes, she would even refuse to eat tuna. But one thing she could never get tired of and would eat with tears of delight in her eyes was cream cheese.

Minnu’s Departure:

The family faced some crisis when she turned five. They had to change multiple houses. Everywhere, she accompanied them as a part of family, because she was indeed family. She remained as playful her whole life until few months before she turned seven. Every year mama and the daughters used to wish her on her birthday, give extra cuddles and kisses, so much so, that she would get angry for being kissed and hugged so much (she would not mind that much if it was mama). When it was her seventh birthday, the girls felt extra affectionate towards her, felt sad and cried while wishing her. Not knowing the reason behind the sad feeling and tears. The reason became evident couple of months after her seventh birthday. She was diagnosed with feline leukemia. The women did everything in their power to save their baby. It broke their hearts to see such a playful baby struggling to breath, not being able even to get up. They tried every possible thing in their power but God Almighty took her under His shelter within two days and her precious soul departed for a journey back to her Creator. She is now in the heaven, as healthy as never before, as happy as never before, under the best of all shelters, under the best guardianship, under the shade of our Lord! I can imagine her running and playing in the eternal gardens with her eyes of full excitement and happiness, in the soothing breeze, in the most beautiful and safest place. By His will and mercy our Lord will re-unite us one day and we shall all remain happily together ever after.

Farewell:

Dearest Baby Minnu,

Although, this temporary period of separation is agonizing right now, looking at absolutely anything from the bowl in which you used to eat to the litter in which you used to pee brings your countless memories to the mind and the heart breaks again and again when the thought of never being able to see you again in this life strikes hard. Your loss is irreplaceable and irreparable. We miss you terribly, our hearts ache for our dolly, we want to see our baby, be with you, cuddle with you, kiss you, play with you, see happiness in your eyes, see you happy and healthy again, give you lots of lots of love but we know that although you are not with us anymore but wherever you are that is a better place and you are happy there, healthy again, happy again and will remain so forever by the will of God. Our hearts find peace in the thought that you are in the best custody now. You have nothing to fear, nothing to feel sad about because you are with the one who loves you the most, cares for you the most and is most merciful of the merciful. Whose love, mercy and care for you absolutely overshadow the love, mercy and care that we ever had for you. By His will and mercy, He will re-unite us one day and then we will be able to see you, be with you, cuddle you, kiss you, play with you, see happiness in your eyes, see you happy and healthy again, give lots of lots of love and then we shall remain together forever. Rest in peace minnu. You will always be loved, always be remembered and will always, always remain in our hearts. We love you!

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Victim or Fighter

When a calamity strikes and you find yourself in a difficult situation in which you are stuck and are unable to find a way out. May be you have gone bankrupt or an important relationship or connection in your life has fallen apart and you feel as if it's the end of the world for you or you have encountered some other kind of loss or you have faced a crushing defeat at something or you are stuck in the middle of some kind of a mess and you desperately want to escape but you cannot find a way out. When you find yourself in such a situation then you will very easily be let down. It will be very easy for you to lose hope. It will be very easy for you to give up. It will be very easy for you to think that your situation will never get any better. It will be very easy for you to feel depressed and anxious. It will be very easy for you to think what have you done to deserve all this! It will be very easy for you to fall victim to the circumstances. It will be very easy to adopt this victim attitude but it will make things even worse for you in the long run. It will make it even more difficult for you to cope with the calamity. When you are stuck in a difficult situation, it will be very natural and likely for you to whine and to complain and it’s ok to whine. It’s ok to cry. It’s ok to let it all out. In fact it’s important to let it all out. It’s ok to fall apart but only if you decide to collect yourself afterwards and move on. It’s ok for you to moan if you moan then collect yourself later on and fight back. But if you sit back and just keep moaning about your difficulty, if you keep mulling over the calamity that has struck and do not make any effort to move on then you will never be able to get out of that difficulty. You will keep stuck there. Your situation will indeed not get any better. On the other hand, if you decide that you are not going to fall victim to this calamity and you are going to fight back, you are not going to allow this calamity to break you down then you will definitely be able to make your situation better. May be better than it was ever before. When you will fight back then you will come out of this storm much stronger, much smarter, much more fearless, much more sensitive and compassionate towards others who are facing difficulties like you have done. It will make you a much better person and you will be thankful to God for putting you through this. You will appreciate God’s wisdom behind putting you through this that you could not do before. Calamities and difficulties are inevitable and most profound realities of life. It will be up to you to either see them as obstacles in your way, sit back and keep moaning about them or to see them as opportunities to build yourself. At the end of the day, it will be your attitude that will determine your end. Whether you choose to be a victim or you choose to be a fighter. If you choose to be a victim then you will remain one but if you choose to be a fighter then victory will be yours.

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The Divine Decree

Like many others, understanding the concept of divine decree had always been quite a difficult thing for me. Questions like what am I to be blamed for or be given credit for if everything has already been decided and pre-destined? How can I be held accountable for anything that I do? For any sin that I commit or any good deed that I perform? By listening to some lectures, doing some research on this topic and through some personal experiences I have finally got my answers thankfully and now I would like to share those.

Firstly, we should understand that there are two kinds of decree:

      1) Unconditional decree

      2) Conditional decree

Unconditional decree includes matters that are not in our control or that we cannot change. Like in what ethnicity we are born, what family do we have, in what state we are born, whether we are born with some physical or mental deficiencies or disabilities or we are born with all physical and mental abilities intact. These are some examples of the matters that belong to unconditional decree.

Then there comes conditional decree. To understand the concept of conditional decree let us consider a very common example. Suppose there is a student and he has exams coming in few days but he doesn’t study for the exam. When his parents and teachers ask him why is he not preparing for the exam he says that if it is destined for me to pass the exam I will pass the exam anyway but if it is destined for me to fail then I will fail anyway. Why bother to study? Then he appears in the exam and eventually fails. Now let’s go back in time. Same student has exams coming in few days but now he is preparing for the exam because he knows that if he won’t study he will fail. Then he appears in the exam and eventually passes the exam. So, we can conclude that he passing the exam depends on one condition and that is to study. If he fails the exam it is because he did not make any effort to pass the exam and the reason of his failure is his own ignorance. But if he passes the exam it is because he made the effort to pass the exam and prepared himself for it. Since God has the knowledge of the future so He knew in advance what decisions and choices we will make in the future and what will be their consequences and thus wrote it in our destiny. Therefore, we do not take certain steps because it was written in our destiny, rather, it is the other way around. It is written in our destiny to take certain steps because we ourselves choose to take those steps.

خودی کو کر بلند اتنا کے ہر تقدیر سے پہلے

خدا بندے سے خود پوچھے بتا تیری رضا کیا ہے

(Translation: Set your self-determination so high that before (writing) each decree, God Himself asks the slave tell me what your pleasure lies in)

Now here it is absolutely important to understand one more thing. In order to achieve something it is important for us to make effort but we cannot make it through by means of our efforts alone. Our efforts won’t affect the consequences without God’s permission and His assistance. We cannot achieve the desired results without God’s aid and His help and in order to get His help we must make effort from our end. That’s why I absolutely love the following statement:

But there is one more possibility in this scenario. Perhaps the student did prepare for the exams and did put in complete effort from his end but in the end he failed despite all the efforts. Sometimes such things do happen with all of us. Sometimes we do try our best to achieve something but we don’t get it anyway. At such times it is not incorrect to say that this thing might not have been destined for me. Although you want it really badly but maybe it is not good for you. Perhaps God has something better for you in store. Perhaps, it will be harmful for you in the long run to have it. So God does not let you have it for your own good. You may like something that is bad for you and you may dislike something that is good for you.  But God who created you, who has the absolute knowledge of everything, seen and unseen alike, present and future alike, knows better.

Then there can be another scenario. Sometimes things are just not in our control and there is nothing much we can do to change the situation. For example, a loved one is suffering from a fatal disease and the doctor informs you that they will probably not be able to live for long. You try to do everything you can. You take them to the best doctor, give them the best care and everything but you cannot make their disease go away. But you pray day and night for a miracle and that they may be restored to health and then after sometime your doctor informs you that your loved one has somehow started to recover. So your prayers have finally been answered and as a result your loved one has actually been saved but it would not have been possible without your prayers. If you would not have prayed, your loved one would probably have died. Or maybe you did some good deed that really touched God. For example you helped someone out of a difficult situation and as a reward God eased your pain and saved your loved one. So, your prayers and your good deeds also affect your destiny.

In a nut shell, the fact that everything has been pre-destined does not remove from us the responsibility and accountability of our own actions. It rather makes us understand that we must carry out all our actions with responsibility and should make complete effort from our end in all the matters. But if we do not get the desired results even after putting in effort and carrying out all our actions with responsibility then there lies God’s wisdom behind it and it is better for us in the long run not to have what we want.

Following are few really insightful quotes about divine decree:

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Prayer of Prophet Ayub/Job (peace be upon him)

An extract from Tafsir Ibn-e-Kathir, Surah Al-Anbiya (Chapter no.21 of Al-Quran):

Allah tells us about Ayyub (Job), and the trials that struck him, affecting his wealth, children and physical health. He had plenty of livestock, cattle and crops, many children and beautiful houses, and he was tested in these things, losing every thing he had. Then he was tested with regard to his body, and he was left alone on the edge of the city and there was no one who treated him with compassion apart from his wife, who took care of him. It was said that it reached the stage where she was in need, so she started to serve people (to earn money) for his sake. The Prophet said:

"The people who are tested the most severely are the Prophets, then the righteous, then the
next best and the next best."

According to another Hadith:

"A man will be tested according to his level of religious commitment ; the stronger his religious
commitment , the more severe will be his test."

The Prophet of Allah, Ayyub, upon him be peace, had the utmost patience, and he is the best example of that. Yazid bin Maysarah said:

"When Allah tested Ayyub, upon him be peace, with the loss of his family, wealth and children,
and he had nothing left, he started to focus upon the remembrance of Allah, and he said: 'I
praise You, the Lord of lords, Who bestowed His kindness upon me and gave me wealth and
children, and there was no corner of my heart that was not f illed with attachment to these
worldly things, then You took all of that away from me and You emptied my heart, and there is
nothing to stand between me and You. If my enemy Iblis knew of this, he would be jealous of
me. ' When Iblis heard of this, he became upset.

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Ar-Rahman

Ar-Rahman. The Most Merciful. I had been reading about this trait of Allah, using it in my prayers and reciting it before starting any task in the form of ‘بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم (Begin with the name of Allah, the most merciful, the most gracious)’ ever since I came to my senses but I never actually pondered over it until recently. This trait makes our Lord most merciful of the merciful which means that if we combine the mercy possessed by all the merciful beings on the face of earth even that will not be comparable with the mercy of Allah.

“Allah divided Mercy into one-hundred parts and kept ninety-nine parts of it with Him and sent down one part on earth. And because of that, its one single part, His creations are Merciful to each other, so that even the mare lifts up its hoofs away from its baby animal, lest it should trample on it.” [Sahih Bukhari]

This trait of Allah has been emphasized again and again by Allah Himself in the Quran. This is the very trait that got to be a part of the most frequently recited sentence ‘بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم (Begin with the name of Allah, the most merciful, the most gracious)’. This is the trait that precedes other ninety eight traits of Allah when we read the names and attributes of Allah. Moreover, we come to know by Prophet Mohammad (peace be upon him) that Allah declares that His mercy prevails His wrath.

“When Allah decreed the creation, he wrote in his book with him on his throne: My mercy prevails over my wrath.” [Sahih Muslim]

These are the few points that can help us internalize the importance of this trait of Allah and that how much this trait has been emphasized by Allah Himself and by Prophet Mohammad (peace be upon him). But this is all about reading and studying about this attribute of Allah. We see but overlook countless examples of Allah’s mercy in our day to day lives. With the exception of very few, most of us are extremely disobedient and ungrateful to Allah but despite that fact He does not punish us for our disobedience and ungratefulness right away. He gives us lots of leverage. He overlooks many of our mistakes, those we make knowingly and those we make unknowingly. Despite the fact that He is our master and we are merely His slaves and that He owes us nothing and we owe Him absolutely everything, He waits for us to turn to Him and repent. He literally looks forward to us to turn to Him so that He can forgive us. When we turn back to Him He reaches out for us without the delay of even a fraction of second. No matter at what point in time you turn to Him, His door is always open for you. If you walk towards Him, He will come running towards you.

“Allah, the Exalted and Glorious, said: I live in the thought of My servant and I am with him as he remembers Me. (The Holy Prophet) further said: By Allah, Allah is more pleased with the repentance of His servant than what one of you would do on finding the lost camel in the waterless desert. When he draws near Me by the span of his hand. I draw near him by the length of a cubit and when he draws near Me by the length of a cubit. I draw near him by the length of a fathom and when he draws near Me walking I draw close to him hurriedly.” [Sahih Muslim]

If somebody hurts us, breaks our heart or disappoints us then are we usually willing to give them a second chance? If we truly love them even then after a couple of chances we will surely give up on them if they keep making the same mistake again and again because we cannot stand being turned down or being hurt again and again. But look at Allah’s mercy, see how much He loves you that no matter how many times you mess up, fail and disappoint Him He will never run out of second chances for you! That is Allah, Ar-Rahman! He never gives up on His constantly and consistently failing and disobedient slaves.

“Allah, Blessed and Exalted is He, says, ‘O son of Adam, as long as you call on Me, I shall forgive you of what you have done, and think nothing of it. O son of Adam, even if your sins were to reach up to the clouds in the sky, and then you were to ask for My forgiveness, I would forgive you and think nothing of it. O son of Adam, even if you were to come to Me with sins nearly as great as the earth, and then you were to meet Me after death, not worshipping anything besides Me, I would bring you forgiveness nearly as great as the earth.’” [Tirmidhi]

“Whoever repents after his crime and does righteous good deeds (by obeying Allah), then verily, Allah will pardon him. Verily, Allah is Oft­ Forgiving, Most Merciful."[Al-Quran 5:39]

Despite the fact that He owes us nothing yet showers us with countless blessings, we take many of His blessings and gifts for granted. We constantly and consistently disobey Him, disappoint Him, keep whining and complaining and are ungrateful to Him. In addition to that, despite His countless favors and boundless mercy we do not bother to even take out some time for Him, to remember Him, talk to Him and connect with Him. Despite of all this, He never leaves us on our own. He still provides for us, looks after us and takes care of us even while we are in the state of disobedience!  While we are in the middle of disappointing Him! Not only that He fulfils our needs but He also showers us with countless blessings and gifts when He is our master. But He is not an ordinary master. He is not an ordinary rabb. He is rabb-e-kareem (extremely generous master)!

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Let Go, Let God (a poem very close to my heart)

As children bring their broken toys with tears for us to mend,
I brought my broken dreams to God,
because He was my friend.
But then, instead of leaving Him at peace to work alone,
I hung around, and tried to help 
with ways that were my own.
At last I snatched them back and cried,
"How can you be so slow?"
"My child, "He said, " what could I do? You never did let go."

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Feeling Empty

I often heard people saying it, writing and singing songs about it and talking about it but I never actually knew what it actually meant, until recently, when I experienced this empty feeling myself. Now I kind of know what these people meant when they said they felt empty. But the thing is, even after experiencing this feeling I still cannot explain it or put it into words. I think it’s the absence of emotions in the heart, like nothing makes you feel happy or excited or sad or depressed or fearful anymore. Everything that was previously charming has lost its charm. You don’t have anything to look forward to anymore. Or maybe, it means that the one experiencing empty feeling has become numb to all these feelings. Perhaps the person has become so hopeless that he cannot find happiness or excitement in anything and has become so immune to pain and distress that these feelings don’t affect the person anymore. Or perhaps it means something else. Whatever the explanation of this might be, I am quite certain of one thing, at least for now, that emptiness is a kind of confusing feeling but it is better than depression : )

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The One Pulling the Strings

For everything that happens, Allah is always in the background pulling the strings. We sometimes think that things have gone out of control but things were never in our control anyway. We can and should always make effort but the results and consequences are always in Allah’s hands. In order to gain Allah’s help it is necessary to make effort and do everything in our control but we cannot achieve the desired results until Allah makes us achieve them. Only Allah is dominant over everything and He is subtle in His ways. So subtle that you don’t even realize when it’s happening, when He is executing His perfect plan in His perfect way but when you look back you are awestruck at how perfectly Allah executed His perfect plan and how He had been in control all along, without us even realizing that.

تو تو پاک رب دا بانکا بچہ راج دلارا تو ہی

پاک رب دا بانکا بچہ اسکا پیارا تو ہی

مالک نے جو چنتا دی تو دور کرے گا وہ ہی

(Translation: You are the fearless kid of holy Lord, [His] dear kid is just you 
The fearless kid of holy Lord, His beloved is just you
The worry Master has given You, He will remove it Himself)

Apart from the realities and facts that we see and perceive there are also certain realities and facts those are unseen, those we do not perceive. If we were able to see the complete picture, seen and unseen altogether then we might have been able to see and comprehend Allah’s wisdom and justice. But we are unable to perceive that complete picture behind which lies Allah’s wisdom no doubt. One of the reasons for that can be to test our reliance and trust on Allah.

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The Supreme Power is on Lookout for You

You may dislike something that is good for you and you may like something that is bad for you. In other words, your knowledge of what's good for you and what's bad for you is very limited. On the other hand, Allah has complete knowledge of absolutely everything. He is all wise and the best of all planners. Above all, He loves you more than seventy mothers altogether! He wants nothing short of what's best for you. Therefore, He is always on lookout for you. He monitors your each step and if He sees that you are moving towards your own destruction thinking that it’s what you need or it's what can make you happy, He creates obstacles in your path, He stops you from walking towards your destruction. He protects you. You are too busy crying over what you cannot have or what you have lost that you are unable to see Allah’s wisdom behind it and of course we cannot comprehend Allah’s wisdom because we are too short sighted for that. But we can learn to be patient and trust Allah’s plan for us. We can bear in mind that whatever Allah does is in our best interest even if we are unable to understand His plan at times. Imagine the supreme power is on lookout for you! Cares about you like nobody else! How can anything possibly go wrong! If you look back at your life, you will realize that every missed opportunity and every loss was a blessing in itself. In one way or another it saved you or aided you. And remember Allah never takes away anything without giving something better in return J

مولا تیرا مالی او ہریالی جنگل والی

تو دے ہر گالی پہ تالی اسکی قدم قدم رکہوالی

اےوی لوک لاج کی سوچ سوج کے کیو ہے افت ڈالی

تو لے نام رب دا نام ساءین دا

(Translation: Master (God) is your gardener (caretaker), O greenery of the jungle!

You clap on every swearing (trouble), His protection (with you) at each step

Why have you created chaos by thinking about the worldly affairs?

You call the name of the Lord, the name of the one whose shade is on you)

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Blessings in Disguise

When we are going through a hard time we can get carried away and lose hope very easily and it becomes very difficult for us to recognize the blessings hidden in it. During the times of hardship and ease alike, we must bear one thing in mind:

Without difficulties and pain our growth is impossible

Let’s consider a very common example. Suppose your dream is to become an artist or a psychologist or an IT expert or whatever you like. In order to educate yourself in your field of interest and to become skillful in it you get admission in a college or school or any other educational institution. There if you are taught only the easiest lessons as a part of your curriculum then would you expect yourself to become an expert in that field after qualifying from that institution? Of course not, because without challenges and difficulties it’s impossible to learn and grow. Similarly, when we are faced with hardships in our lives, dealing with those helps in our emotional and mental growth. It’s bound to make us stronger and smarter.

Let’s consider another example, when a product is manufactured it is tested and the more difficult tests it passes the more worthy it becomes. For instance, when a car is manufactured, it is made to undergo really harsh conditions. It is driven on bumpy and un-even roads, through water and is made to perform under many similar tough conditions. As a result, the more obstacles it’s able to cross and still perform the more worthy it becomes. Moreover, the more severe the conditions were the more tolerant the car is declared and eventually becomes even more worthy. In the same way, we are tested under tough conditions so that when we bear them with patience and don’t break down, the more worthy we become in the eyes of Allah. After all, He gives the hardest battles to His strongest soldiers. That’s the reason why prophets were the people who were faced with the most difficult situations and hardships in the history. If Allah knew you were not capable of dealing with the hardships you are being put through, He wouldn’t have given those to you in the first place. How can He put you in a situation under which you are bound to break down when He loves you more than seventy mothers altogether. The only reason you are faced with the kind of difficulty you are going through is because you are capable of dealing with it and the one who created you knows it well.

‘لا يكلف الله نفسا الا وسعها'
(Translation: Allah does not burden a soul except [with that within] its capacity) 
~Al-Quran [2:286]

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Imperfect Life

We all know that this life is not perfect. This world is not perfect. It’s neither perfectly bad nor perfectly good. If it was perfectly bad then it would have been hell instead. If it was perfectly good then it would have been paradise instead.  This world is neither of them. This world is our examination hall. The purpose of this life is to test us. We are tested through hardship and ease, through sadness and happiness, through pain and peace. The purpose of hard times is to test how patient we are and the purpose of good times is to test how grateful we are.

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Embrace Suffering

Heartbroken, depressed, stressed, anxious, frustrated, worried; these are the emotional states that at one point or another we have all experienced in our lives, or may be are still experiencing and will definitely have to deal with in the future as these are inevitable for us as long as we don’t part ways with our lives. The severity and intensity of such a feeling varies from time to time and situation to situation. Sometimes the blow is huge and the pain caused by such a feeling is constant and it just completely refuses to leave you. It can be devastating, unbearable and can leave you completely shattered. You don’t know where to go, where to run, how to run away from yourself, how to escape this state which is causing you constant and intense pain. Other times the blow is comparatively lighter and causes pangs of pain every now and then. One moment it goes away. Next moment it comes back. The intensity of pain keeps fluctuating. Sometimes the pain and suffering simply refuse to leave you for what seems like eternity. Other times it fades away after striking few blows. But with the passage of time you gradually become immune to that particular pain. The intensity that you felt at the first blow was definitely greater than the current intensity. This means that the intensity of pain declines. Sometimes the rate of decline is so negligible that we don’t even realize that it’s declining. But it always declines. It’s bound to decline and eventually disappear. This is the rule of this universe. Nothing lasts forever; let it be happiness or grief. 

یہ ممکن نہی کے شب الم کی سحر نہ ہو

'وہ کہتا ہے 'ان مع العسر یسرا

(Translation: It's not possible that the night of grief is not followed by the dawn 

     He says, 'Verily, after every hardship comes ease')

Suffering is the inevitable reality of life and there is no escape from it. But only if you can learn to embrace it you shall be able to go through such periods of difficulty with much ease. Now the question is, how can I do that? How can I possibly embrace such negative feelings?

The secret lies in the recognition of two facts:

1) This life is not perfect and thus suffering is a part of it. It's inevitable.

God turns you from one feeling to another and teaches you by means of opposites, so that you will have two wings to fly. Not one.

~Rumi

2)  Allah has the best plan for you

Every experience Allah gives you, every person He puts in our lives is the perfect preparation for the future only He can see. 

~Dr Bilal Philips

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Compassion for Animals

Our task must be to free ourselves by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature and its beauty.

– Albert Einstein

After reading the title some of you might have thought ‘what about fellow humans?’ let’s motivate people towards human compassion first! And if you thought so then at the back of your mind you would be thinking that we can think about caring for and helping animals once we are done with all the humans. My dear friends! If we keep waiting for the day when we have extended our circle of compassion to cover all the humans of the world and ‘after that’ we will extend it further to accommodate animals then such a day will never come. The root of this thinking is the thinking that human lives our more worthy than others’. It is not so my friends. Every life matters. You can and you should care for all simultaneously. Animals feel the same amount of pain as we do. The magnitude of the suffering caused when subjected to physical or emotional pain is not very different for animals than humans. Imagine that someone throws a stone at you or someone beats you up or someone wipes you with a stick or someone doesn’t give you food when you are very hungry and are unable to make any arrangement for yourself or your kids or someone snatches away your newly born child from you or someone keeps you chained outside in extremely cold or extremely hot weather or someone makes you do the tricks in front of the spectators, tricks that you don’t want to perform but are forced to because you are afraid that if you won’t then you will have to face severe consequences or if you are kidnapped from your home and are kept in a cage in an unfamiliar environment where some curious beings can have a close look at you from behind the bars. If (God forbid) you find yourself in any of these situations then the pain that you will experience is not at all different from the pain that is experienced by animals when they find themselves in the same situations. Moreover, unlike you they cannot speak up for themselves.

In order to be compassionate towards animals you don’t necessarily have to start animal welfare campaigns or open up an animal shelter or take any other such big step. Although, these are some totally great things to do and I really support and admire people who do so from the depth of my heart and one day I want to be one of them. But in this blog I will only share few simple ways to show compassion to animals around us and create a better place for them.

1.       Don’t shoo the strays away:

If a stray comes in your way then resist the urge to shoo them away and go about your business. Ignoring or shooing away a cat or a dog that comes to you is similar to ignoring or waving away the person who comes to you to greet you in a warm way. If you just wink at them they will return the wink quite affectionately ;)

2.       Look after strays:

We can see too many stray cats and dogs roaming around our residential areas, schools, colleges, universities and workplaces. Try to be kind to them. Put bowl(s) of water for them at places where they are likely to come and sit, specifically during summers. Try to feed them every now and then even if it’s a handful of meal. During summers, designate a small cozy space outside your house, in your garden, in your backyard, in your garage, at your school, college, university or workplace for them to rest. Cover that space up with some shade to keep it cozy or put a carton box there for them. During winters, make it cozy by putting a cushion or blanket or anything warm there so that they can sleep on it and keep warm. If there is a spot where birds come and sit often then keep some water, millet or shreds of roti there for them. If a stray cat, dog, bird or any uninvited friend from other specie accidentally invades your residence or workplace then instead of scaring them away you can kindly show them the way out. They are more willing to go out than you are to make them go. Trust me! :)

3.       Drive carefully:

Everyday so many stray animals become victims of road accidents. While driving, specifically look out for animals so that you won’t run over them or hit them. Before getting in your car take a look and make sure that there is no stray around your car. After starting your car wait for a while before starting the ride, so that if there is some stray around your car it will move away by the sound and heat of engine. While reversing your car not only check the rear view mirror but also take your head outside the window and make sure there is no stray at the backside.

4.       Get medical help for the injured animals:

If you accidentally hurt an animal by hitting them by your car for instance or if you see some injured or sick animal lying around then don’t overlook. That’s totally inhumane. Get them medical help immediately. If you are a Karachiite like me then following is the list of veterinary clinics available in Karachi where you can take them or you can also contact Ayesha Chundrigur Foundation. These guys are doing a great job and they come up at the spot where the animal needs help. You can also ask them for instructions about what you can do until they arrive. You just have to give them a call.

Animal Care Centre

C5E Nishat, 2 Khayaban-e-Nishat, Karachi
(021) 35851296

Pirzada Pets Clinic

Shop No.22, Royal Appartment K.D.A. Scheme No.1 Mudassir Park Road, Karachi(021) 34521859

Pirzada Pets Clinic

Plot No 4-C, 14th St, Khadda Market, DHA 5, Karachi
(021) 35852988

RC Veterinary Hospital

MA Jinnah Road, Saddar Town, Karachi
(021) 32743224

5.       Say NO to animal cruelty:

If you see animal(s) being mistreated or being subjected to cruel behavior then speak up. Try to create awareness among your friends, family and neighbors about animal cruelty and their welfare. Try to make them realize that they are living beings just like us and can feel pain just like we do. We can see so many donkey cart owners around us treating donkeys so badly and beating them up, overburdening them and then forcing them to run under the scorching sun. If you see such a thing happening around you then stop by and tell them to go easy on the poor creature. You don’t necessarily have to nag them, just tell them kindly. Most probably, they won’t pay heed but it’s always worth a shot. Or you can tell them that you are not going to buy from them because they are being cruel to the donkey. If you see someone throwing stones at a dog or a cat or scaring them due to no good reason then stop by and tell them to stop doing so and let the poor creatures be. Do not watch the entertainment shows in which animals are used whether it is a monkey show by the roadside or a well-organized, high budget dolphin show. Poor creatures are forced to do tricks that are totally against their nature and are tortured badly in the process. Do not participate in hunting or animal fights that take place in the name of sport and entertainment. Instead, speak up against these. Teach your children, family and friends that this is not entertainment but sheer cruelty. Make people realize that agonizing or killing a living being is not sport or entertainment at all. Do not go to zoos or circuses. Teach your children that wild animals are not meant to live in captivity like this. They should be set free in the wild which is their home. Where they can live the lives they have been created to live. During baqra eid season, do not at all participate in the cruel animal races that people do for so-called fun. Instead, speak up against it. It’s another debate that animals are slaughtered at this occasion but at least tell the people around you that you are supposed to take good care of these animals and look after them during the whole time they are with you, not to abuse them or use them for entertainment or show off. Do not urge the authorities for dog killings in your locality. It is completely inhumane to take away an innocent life without any justified reason. And the reason that they are causing you trouble is not a good enough reason to kill them. They are not doing it on purpose. In fact, they don’t even know that they are doing it. Instead, speak up against it. If they are causing you trouble then there are other humane ways to control that. Study about those ways and share this information with the people in your neighborhood. Please visit the following link to see this information.

Stop Killing our Dogs

You can also contribute in preventing cruelty against our voiceless fellows by boycotting products that are obtained via cruelty to them like fur or leather. Do not use products that are animal tested. Do not rent horses or horse carts for weddings or rallies etc as they are heavily drugged to stay calm in the crowd and all the noise. Since these graceful creatures are not meant to live among such loud noises and crowd so you cannot blame them if they get out of control and cause you harm due to any reason.

6.       Do not buy, only adopt:

If you are planning to keep an animal at home then do not purchase, only adopt. Do not purchase an animal whether it’s a precious breed dog from a posh family or a fine breed cat from a pet store or a chick that a guy on bicycle is selling with a cage at the rear of the vehicle containing poor babies that have been snatched away from their mothers moments after their birth. Do not promote the buying and selling business of animals as they are not commodities rather they are living beings with actual feelings and have the right of freedom. Do not take them as a pet that you own rather treat them as a new family member and you will have at least have one family member who loves you unconditionally for sure ;)

 But if you are planning to keep them chained or caged then please immediately drop the idea of adopting a pet. They are not a decoration piece for your home. They are not meant to live this way. They have the right to live freely. One thing that you must bear in mind before adopting a pet is that it’s a life time commitment. You cannot just throw them away after a while because you are fed up or because you realize later on that it was not a good idea in the first place. If you face any issues after you have adopted a pet like allergies or something then take the responsibility of finding a good home for them and do not just try to get rid of them right away. If you cannot keep them then keep them at a shelter or a foster home until you find a permanent home for them.

7.       Teach your children:

Children are naturally interested in and compassionate for animals. When they see that the society in which they grow up handles them with cruelty and treats them as scum they learn and adopt the same behavior eventually. Various researches show that kids who ill-treat the animals are more likely to develop violence in their core nature. Cruelty to animals is considered as one of the three symptoms that predict the development of a psychopath and it is included as a criterion for a conduct disorder in children by the American Psychiatric Association. Teaching your children compassion for all kinds of living beings will eventually make them kind and gender and they will be more empathetic towards all beings.

You are the one who will have to set example for your children. Do not shout at animals or curse them. Do not treat them as scum. Respect them and value their lives. If your child mistreats an animal in front of you then tell them that it is unethical and that they too feel pain like us. Appreciate your kids if they show kindness towards an animal. If you have animal companions at your home then teach your child to be kind to them, look after them and feed them. This will also develop sense of responsibility in them.

8.       Make donations for animal welfare:

Try to make donations to animal welfare programs even if it is a single penny it can make some difference. Following is the list of welfare programs that are currently, actively working for animal welfare in Pakistan. Visit their websites/social media pages and get to know more about them and the work they do.

ACAP:

https://www.facebook.com/a.c.a.pak/

PAWS:

http://pawspakistan.org/
https://www.facebook.com/pawspakistan/

ACF:

https://www.facebook.com/ACFAnimalRescue/

Broke Hospital for Animals:

http://www.thebrooke.org.pk/
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Brooke-Hospital-for-Animals/

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